Recently, I have been extremely overwhelmed with college decisions, school projects I just don’t want to do, trying to become a better photographer, and all the while trying to enjoy the time and relationships I have with friends and family. I apply to as many scholarships as I can find; yet, I don’t hear back from any of them. I sacrifice a weekend day with the family to finish a project, but another one is due a week or two later. I push myself further to improve my picture-taking skills; though, I can always find someone who takes better pictures than myself. I found myself unable to see any end to these constant “tasks” of mine. I would feel somewhat accomplished for a day, maybe. Then, the next day I would see something else I would have to do or could have done better and I would get down on myself about it. But…I knew there had to be something I was missing; something I wasn’t seeing. I knew God didn’t want me to live like that.
Well, I started looking through some of my pictures and came across the one you see above. As I looked at that picture I noticed what I did to make it come out so blurry. For those of you who may not be familiar with SLR cameras, the lenses have focus rings that the photographer turns in either direction to make the focus of the picture closer or farther away. All that I did to make that picture blurry was set the focus too close to myself.
Immediately, I saw the source of my overwhelming problem. The focus of all my actions were so closely concerned with myself that I had forgotten in a way what it was like to fully rely on God. I was focusing so closely on my own capabilities that I couldn’t see beyond that. Everything else that was showing and telling me that God’s capabitities are more than enough were all blurry. Not because they weren’t there, just because my focus was too close. Turning the focus ring so that I could see the picture clearly was something I had to manually and consciously do myself. It takes effort on our part to focus on God. But when we do, we can clearly see that he will take care of everything.